Anger, although a natural emotion, can be a dangerous tool when expressing how you feel.
For many, their relationship with anger is healthy and they’re able to communicate their frustrations in a calm and constructive manner. For others, anger can tear their world apart. More so, some people are unable to identify that anger is having a toxic influence in their life—even when the signs are clear for all to see.
Today, people who struggle with their anger management have a range of resources to help them find peace. If you’re a person who feels that anger could be taking over and that you may need some support, in this article we look closely at when you should consider going to anger management classes.
1. You go From Zero to One Hundred Real Quick
We all have things that make us angry. Most, however, are able to tell when something is getting to them and implement an exit strategy before it gets out of control. If you find you go from calm to manic outburst quicker than you’re able to realize it, then this is a red flag that anger has control of you.
A short fuse can lead to impulsive actions such as breaking things, loud shouting and in extreme cases, violence. Often after an episode of this kind, it’s almost as if you come out of a trance, unsure how, what and why your behavior changed in that way.
2. You Turn to Anger to Hide Other Feelings
Unfortunately, over time many people develop the mindset that showing they’re hurt or upset is a form of weakness. Instead of saying “I’m in emotional pain and I need to be heard” they resort to acting out in anger, thinking it’s a demonstration of strength.
If this sounds relatable to you, then you’ll also know the consequences that come with this. In times where someone has hurt you, you’ll find you’re having to apologize because of your anger fueled response to their actions.
Having difficulty expressing how you really feel is an indicator that you have to barriers to overcome.
3. It’s Always Someone Else's Fault
Having the self awareness to take responsibility for your actions is a sign of emotional maturity. If, however, you have the mindframe that “it’s always them not me” then this shows that you’re struggling to take ownership.
This subtle trait is often linked to those who have difficulties with anger management. You develop a victim mentality and you're always finding someone else to blame. Furthermore, it highlights how anger is preventing you from seeing the bigger picture, stopping you from identifying areas you need to improve when dealing with other people.
4. You’re Extremely Irritable
Do you find that the slightest thing can trigger you? Are you easily frustrated and the type of person whose reactions far outweigh the cause?
Not having the patience and tolerance to handle the things life throws at you is another sign you’re struggling with anger. We’re all faced with adversity, struggle and inconvenience and there are healthy ways in which to handle them.
For example, losing your temper because someone was slightly late to dinner, is best described as an overreaction and you should consider why your temper is so easily inflated.
5. People Are Nervous Around You
We can often learn a lot about ourselves just by observing how people behave around us. If you find that people tip-toe around conversations, or prefer to agree with you to help keep the peace, then it could be that they’re concerned you may act out in anger.
If you’re in a relationship and often hear the words “it’s impossible to talk to you” then try and take this on board. If your short fuse is preventing constructive dialogue with a loved one, then going to learn helpful techniques will lead to a healthier and happier relationship.
6. Your Behavior is Making You Unhappy
You may already be aware that anger is a concern in your life. But you may also feel like it’s something you’re eventually going to control. But if your temper and actions are constantly making you feel bad about yourself, then it’s a good idea to seek support as soon as possible.
Letting anger control you, rather than you controlling anger, is never going to make you feel good about yourself. As a result of this, you find yourself unhappy and worried about your health and the well being of those around you.
Don’t Have Shame in Needing Support
Even in today’s progressive world, people still struggle with the idea of getting professional help. Whether it’s pride or embarrassment, the idea of needing someone else's support is something they don’t feel comfortable with.
If you’re struggling with your anger but feel that you can’t take the step to seek help, here’s something to consider…
Being able to say that you have a problem is a sign of strength. To be open and honest about something you’re struggling with takes a lot of guts and is certainly something that shouldn’t be looked down upon. Seeking professional support is a stepping stone to helping yourself.
Anger can be a dark, lonely prison and pride and denial will only keep you confined for longer. Break free and start overcoming the behaviors that are holding you back and preventing you from being happy.
Don’t allow anger to keep being a destructive force in your life. Act now and seek the proper support.