There are some seasons in life when it feels like everything is going downhill and falling apart.
Even though we wish we could avoid these phases, they're normal for everyone and a natural part of the human experience. Still, there are some things that you can do to turn things around when you feel like your life is falling apart.
My Life is Falling Apart...What Do I Do?
Remind Yourself that You are Safe
When you’re under a lot of stress (like when you feel like your life is falling apart), you may experience a fight or flight response to that stress. Even if you don’t consider what you’re going through to be traumatic, your nervous system can become overloaded and cause feelings of wanting to fight or flight.
Telling yourself that you are safe (emotionally, physically, and mentally) can ease your anxiety and reduce symptoms of the fight or flight responses. Practice this reminder in moments of emotional surges and even when things feel okay. Doing this with deep breathing exercises or while meditating can be really effective, too.
Reminding yourself that you're safe no matter what you’re going through will become your new belief and help you manage stress, especially when it feels like everything is going wrong.
Accept Your Feelings
Shoving your emotions down only makes you feel worse, especially in the long run. You don’t need to throw a pity party but it’s important to sit with your feelings and allow them to show you what you need to see. Acknowledging and accepting your feelings is also better for your mental health, both in the short and long term.
So, acknowledge whatever emotions come up for you and accept that they are there for a reason. Yes, this is incredibly difficult at first, especially if you normally push past your feelings. Like everything else, it requires practice, patience, and commitment. Make it a point to slow down and be with your feelings and thoughts at least once a day.
Mediating, deep breathing, and mindful activities all help you process feelings and gain emotional wellness. Being more mindful has a lot of benefits, like helping you stress less, reducing emotional reactivity, and feeling happier overall.
You don’t have to become a zen master or spend three hours meditating every day to practice mindfulness and reap the benefits, though. There are simple ways you can implement mindfulness even with a busy schedule and you can even be mindful with your kids.
Journaling has endless benefits in every season of life, but when you feel like your life is falling apart it’s especially important to journal for your mental health and emotional wellbeing. It can clear your mind, help you relieve stress and anxiety, identify your feelings more clearly, help you process your emotions and thoughts, figure out what you truly want in life, and so much more.
You don't have to journal for hours on end or buy expensive journals. Even ten minutes a day can make a huge difference for your mental health and emotional wellbeing. If you're not used to journaling, try prompts or guided journals to get you started.
Have trouble remembering to do this but want to make it a habit? Make time for it by scheduling it into your day and including it in your routines!
Express Gratitude Every Day
Being grateful and expressing gratitude on a regular basis can change your perspective, increase happiness, and strengthen your resiliency. The power of being grateful can literally be life-changing. Reminding yourself of everything you have to be thankful for will help you turn your life around quicker than anything else and get you out of the rut you're in.
It's way too easy to think that your life is falling apart and there's nothing to be thankful for, but that mentality only breeds more negative feelings and thoughts that keep you stuck. Try a gratitude journal, using positive affirmations and mantras, spend more time talking about what's going well in your life than you do complaining, and showing appreciation for what and who you're grateful for.
Learn to Forgive and Let Go of the Past
Holding grudges and bringing up past issues will only tear your life apart even more. They make it impossible to move on and grow, and negatively affect your mental health in the process. If you want to turn your life around, you will benefit from acknowledging any areas where you're not forgiving someone (including yourself) and finding ways to move foward.
Moving on from relationships that didn't work out, mistakes you've made, coping with failure, and things you regret aren’t easy. But if your life is falling apart, learning to forgive, releasing grudges, and letting go of your past (even your recent past) is an important step to turning things around.
Take Care of Your Health on Every Front
Your mental and physical health has a big impact on every part of your life, and so do your habits. Even simple things like your diet and daily movement can make a difference in how you think, feel, and behave. Being intentional about all the ways you take care of your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health can make you or break you in difficult seasons of life.
Try to eat for mental wellbeing, get enough exercise, and create mindful habits that support your health on every front. You’ll thank yourself for the extra love and support and realize how much these small things really matter when you’re going through a difficult time.
Focus on What You Can Control (and Accept What You Can’t)
When your life is falling apart and feels out of control, it's important to focus on what you can control...which is yourself. At the same time, it’s essential that you accept what you can’t control. Trying to control everything and everyone will only end up in more frustration, pain, and stress. On the flip side, practicing extreme ownership can completely change your life for the better.
While there are always things that go wrong that we can’t foresee or change, realizing your own power and ways you can change your own life is the single most important thing you can do to put it all back together. Remind yourself that you are only in control of yourself and what you can’t control, you will come to accept.
Find What Lights You Up and Do Those Things
When life looks bleak and feels hopeless it’s really hard to be excited about anything. Keeping yourself from things that you enjoy only prolongs those negative feelings, though. Take some time every day to figure out what you enjoy and actually do those things.
Watching funny shows, getting creative, hanging out with friends, or even starting your own business can go a long way in bringing joy back to your life and changing your perspective.
Take It One Day at a Time
You may feel like your life is a disaster and your future is gone, but worrying about your entire life won’t change anything. Chances are your life didn’t get messy overnight, so it won’t be fixed overnight, either. Take it one day at a time, learn to be present, and remind yourself that every step forward matters.
Recognize Important Signs
It’s easy to miss red flags and signs of deeper problems that may contribute to your current circumstances. Learn to recognize signs that you’re depressed, in a toxic or abusive relationship, and even when you have anger problems so you can work through them now and prevent the same problems in the future.
It’s hard to go through tough times alone, and there’s no reason why you should. Seek out support and guidance with counseling, therapy, or a life coach. They can help see what you don’t, give advice and coping techniques, and keep you accountable.
If you’re nervous to get support, knowing what to expect during your first therapy session or considering online counseling (like TalkSpace) can help a lot, so start there.
Be Compassionate With Yourself
Above all else, be compassionate with yourself. There’s no point in beating yourself up or engaging in self-destructive thoughts, and doing so makes everything worse. Find ways to practice self-love every day and stop expecting perfection.
Remember that Everything Will Be Okay
It feels like your life is falling apart now, but things can and will change if you let them. We all go through hard times, but life is still worth fighting for. Find a couple of tips from this list and give it your best. Your life will shift and your determination will pay off!